Ever drifted off during a conversation and imagined punching the other person in the face for absolutely no reason?
No, you’re not secretly a psychopath hellbent on inflicting pain and destruction upon the world (unless you actually go ahead and punch them in the face. That is wrong).
EVERYONE has weird, dark, borderline-insane thoughts. They’ll pop into your mind for no apparent reason. You don’t actually want to do what your mind is suggesting, but you just need to consider an alternative reality in which you do.
It’s totally normal. Everyone thinks these things. Right?
1. ‘What if I just flung myself in front of this bus/car/train?’
- ‘What if I took all my clothes off right now?’
3. When you imagine sex with wildly inappropriate people you’re not even attracted to.
- When you imagine leaning in for a kiss with your boss/colleague/platonic friend mid-conversation.
5. ‘That baby is cute. And so small. It would be a shame if I dropped it.’
6‘…Or threw it. Like a ball.’
7. ‘…I wonder how far it would go?’
- ‘This puppy is tiny. I could crush it with my fist.’
9. When you imagine yourself dying, then picture your funeral and how sad everyone would be.
- When you imagine someone you know dying, and how you’d be devastated but really stoic.
11. ‘What if I just punched this person in the face?’
- When you see someone riding a bike and have an intense urge to just reach out and push them off.
13. When you see someone running and your mind says: ‘STICK OUT YOUR FOOT AND TRIP THEM. DO IT.’
- ‘I could definitely rob a bank.’
15. ‘I would never murder anyone. But if I did, here’s exactly how I’d do it…’
- ‘…And here’s exactly how I’d get away with it…’
17. When you’re watching a play or listening to someone speak and feel very worried that you might just stand up and start screaming really loudly for no reason.
- When you imagine the person you have a crush on being kidnapped or mugged so you can rescue them. Normal.
19. When you imagine everyone else being in serious danger so you can be the hero.
- Every time you see someone holding a mug: ‘I could just knock that out of their hands.’
21. When you see someone eating something delicious: ‘I could just take that entire cake and jam it in my mouth right now. That would be fun.’
- When you’re in a shop: ‘It would be SO easy to steal this stuff right now. I’d just keep walking.’
23. When you imagine developing a serious illness, but going into work so everyone would be impressed by how brave you are.
- When it’s really silent and you feel like you might break it by making incoherent noises.
25. ‘What if instead of going to the toilet, I just wet myself?’
- ‘What if I’m actually really weird but my brain is so messed up that I THINK I’m being normal? And everyone’s been told to just act like I’m not currently screaming really loudly?’
27. ‘What if everyone can read my thoughts and they know all the weird stuff I’m thinking?’
How many of these thought have you had?
Credits: London Metro